Gen. it yourself, send to your boss, and get fired.
Please excuse Chainsaw Riot from work on Thursday, May 19. He is not feeling well. Chainsaw is at home in bed for the entire day, nursing what appears to be a serious loss of mitochondria. Chainsaw's illness is in no way, shape or form related to the premiere of the final installment of the greatest story ever, which, coincidentally, premieres on the same date.
While I cannot confirm nor deny that Chainsaw has called my company, Geek Squad, asking to be set up with wireless access in case of a day spent watching the final prequel over and over know that if you do receive an e-mail from your prized employee today, it is most likely because He was wise enough to plan ahead in the event of illness.
But as I mentioned before, Chainsaw is at home, safely in bed, but reachable (in dire emergencies) by e-mail or cell.
One more thing. Beginning at 14:30, Chainsaw Riot will be unreachable for about two hours, thirteen minutes and eleven seconds. He will be feeling really bad at this time.
This wasn't the excuse note you were looking for,
Geek Squad Chief Inspector